I think it’s important to understand that it’s not about people reading what I write, its about not caring if they do. Unmasking my heart has been my life long greatest fear. I am learning that there is power to vulnerability, controlling the conversation, and laying it all out there for all to judge. I don’t want to ever feel shame for loving the people I love, for wanting a certain life, or being a certain way. By being completely vulnerable, I am taking that card out of the deck.
No, people don’t need to know anything about my life, but I don’t care if they do. Lifting the veil and stepping into the light without this life sucking fear of other people’s opinions is the most important thing I’ve ever done for myself so far. I finally feel like my feet aren’t glued to the ground and I can start moving forward.
But also, there is a universal story in every single heartache and triumph. Relating to another person’s emotional experience makes me feel less alone. People are just not going to post on social media about their insecurities in their relationships, their career, their friendships, themselves, which is normal. But I feel like if we keep pretending like everything is always dipped in gold and sugar coating our anxieties, we’re only exhausting ourselves by forcing ourselves into a life of make belief.
I really believe that pretending everything is okay is self destructive. I don’t believe I can find a life of contentment if I am constantly worrying about the way it looks to other people. There really is no purpose to all of this. More than anything, I just want to encourage other people to admit when they need help and feel unashamed to ask for it.
