I have been sitting under a rain cloud this week leading up to Papa’s 91st birthday (last night especially).My mind is flooded with old memories and moments that make me ache from missing my pal. I haven’t been posting lately because every time I sit down to write all that comes out is how I am dealing with my grief (and the answer to that is poorly.)
I can feel him and see him everywhere; in my dreams, in the songs that come on shuffle, in conversations with friends. I look for him constantly wondering where he is, if he’s okay, if he’s dancing with Mama. I have thousands of memories pouring in. I know that should make me feel grateful and I do. But no matter how much time we had, it was never going to be enough.
So today is his birthday and I owe him a celebration of his life. So I am going to wipe away my tears and start living the way he wanted me to, even if I don’t feel like it. I’m going to get back to writing, back into politics. I’ll start taking more photos again. And I promise I will find my old self again.
