At the oohlala fashion show, the nicest girl approached me (shout out Eliza) and told me that she had been following along with my blog. I was so flattered and shocked. I really had no idea anyone was actually reading along. I just used it as an outlet where I felt like I was putting myself out there into the world of judgement and taking the power back.
I’ve been told quite a few times “I love that you are promoting positivity” or some version of that and I am flattered, but that’s really wasn’t my goal. I haven’t given any advice or words of wisdom. I’m not the best at anything. I am not a success story. I’m just trying to be transparent since that is something that I have always struggled with and this is my way of overcoming that fear.
If you haven’t read along before, I am not the best with being forefront with people. I don’t mean to say that I am dishonest, but i do keep to myself or leave things be without having the outside world push their unwarranted opinions on me. Its a terrible way to live to be imprisoned by other people’s thoughts of you.
I realize now that I am not alone. And if there is anything that I can say to the people who feel just like me its that it hurts more to let yourself fail by default than to hear the mean things people will say about you (And they will). It’s harder to stomach your reflection as you let your dreams drift by than it is to stomach the laughter of people who make no effort in their own lives.
I’m imperfect in every possible way. There is very little that I am great at, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be with practice. I will never see myself as a completed project with nothing left to learn. Failure is not a definitive thing. It’s not the end. You don’t a few times and say this is too hard. Failure is just a concept that only exists if you let it. You can’t fail when you’re trying. You can only grow from where you started. Separate yourself from the people who encourage you to make yourself smaller.
I listen to the words that people say about other people around them and I take a mental note of it for myself. I don’t believe in mocking someone for filling their life with passion. I admire anyone who is so bold to go out there and do something with their day that makes them feel inspired. And I try to separate myself from anyone who gets joy from bringing other people down.
I want to be around people who encourage others, feed off each others creativities, and offer advice instead of judgement. It makes me sad that people like that are hard to find. But I think that enough people have reached out to me that I realize how many people are looking for connections like that. And if that’s what were searching for than that’s what we need to be. I’m not an inspiration. I am no one at all. I’m just someone who wants to be the people I hope other’s will be to me.
